Greg's Story

Losing someone you love is always difficult. When my parents divorced, I felt like I had lost both of them. I felt like I had lost a piece of myself. When my parents divorced, I started looking for that piece of myself that I thought I lost. I thought I found it when I met Kyle. 
     Kyle was everything I could have ever wanted in a partner. He was sweet, funny, strong--not to mention good looking. Kyle and I quickly became friends. We were soon closer than brothers. One day, I got tired of hiding my feelings. Being fourteen years old and not knowing what to do, I told Kyle that I was falling in love with him. He let me down as easily as he could, "Dude," he said, "I'm straight." 
     I cried right there in the school's cafeteria. Loving Kyle was the easiest thing I had ever done; it was easier than breathing. How can he not feel the same? I began to hate myself, my homosexuality.
     I turned to drugs, alcohol, and cutting myself to deal with my anger and pain. Eventually, I decided that I couldn't live anymore. I promised God that if He didn't give me someone who would love me, I would kill myself the following night. The next day, I met Danielle. 
     Looking back, I realize that Danielle was most definitely not a good person for me to be associating with. She was promiscuous, heavier into drugs and alcohol than I was, and she lacked respect for authority. None of that mattered to me, though. She treated me how I wanted to be treated. I convinced myself that I was in love with her. After a year of living that lie, Danielle ended our relationship. I don't doubt that I loved her. The heartbreak, I now understand, didn't come from losing her, though. I was heartbroken that I was losing the feeling of being loved. 
     Since then, Kyle and I have grown apart. He has gotten into trouble with the law. The last I heard, he was in jail. I haven't spoken to Danielle in years. I have turned my life around though. 
     I'm still a broken person. I'm still looking for that piece of myself I lost seven years ago. Maybe I'll find Mr. Right and he'll help me find myself. Only time will tell, and, being as I'm only 19, I have plenty of time to look.


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